I realise almost none of you know who Renato Zero is, but he's been amusing me way too much the last week or so not to post THESE VIDEOS OF AWESOME. You know you wanna watch them.


Reasons to love this video:
-WORST LEOPARD PRINT BODYSUIT EVER
- WORST DANCING EVER
- SURPRISE HEDGEHOG SUIT
- A SONG ENTITLED "I SELL MYSELF"



Watch Renato pick a ladyfriend and a gentleman friend from the audience and parade them around!
Watch the gentleman friend kiss him, twice. BUT HE WAS ONLY GAY TO GET OUT OF MILITARY SERVICE, EVERYONE.


DRUNKEN GIRAFFE DANCING + SHINIEST SUIT IN THE HISTORY OF SUITS + EVEN WORSE FLOPPY DANCING= REHATSO

Other things he did which are lolz:

- publicly make a fangirl come by stroking her ear
- UNZIP HIS JUMPSUIT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE PERFORMANCE SO THAT I DIED OF A HEART ATTACK
- FLASH EVERYONE

And just because I can, have some pictures.


Come and get it, boys!

Thanks for all your advice in the last post, everyone, I have decided to make a GP appointment when possible to talk about it. It's sad to see so many people have struggled with similar problems, and how hard it is to really do anything. But I'll try.

I feel much better now, went out to a party with roidesc & purple_solle which was the most fun I've had since er, the work party.

We built a corcucopia of shirtless gay on the dancefloor and danced to Girls on Film. The theme was frat boys & sorority girls so pictures of us poppin' collars forthcoming.

meme, tagged by trickseybird



3) 5 books you are a bit embarrassed to admit you like. This might as well be called 'All the books I loved as a teenie and secretly still love now but hide on the lowest shelf of my bookcase'

Couldn't do that one, because I would never be embarrassed about something I love. If you can't handle my Sandra Hill and Stephen King collections you'd better gtfo.

Blah, nieces are over today and there is football tonight and I need to do work and everything is fail.

So here's a picspam of musicians putting on make up as a mind-soother. I love those pictures, they always seem so intimate and feminine.

SIMON MADE US TELL HIM HE'S OUR DADDY.

TWICE.






I FEEL SO SOILED :(

In return for spiralsheep's Beggars of Life post, a post about Theda Bara, mainly pictures.

What I like about Theda Bara is that the vamp character she portrays is truly unpleasant. These days, she would be cast as Cruelle DeVille or the jealous stepmother instead of the love interest. She shakes and rants and shouts at the men in her films. This would never happen now.

Aside from that, her influence on glamrock and gothic aesthetics is great. Even the films that were remakes of hers are of great influence. Prince used the name of her character Camille as an songwriting alter ego, Kate Bush's stage persona is often very similar in aesthetic, to say nothing of goth bands from Siouxsie to Marilyn Manson.

Mark Paytress in his Bolan bio has a thing about Bolan looking like her from The Slider to Tanx, which has a lot in its favour. The agressive yet feminine image he adopted at the time is indeed very similar to Theda Bara's vamp image, though I guess it helps that they really looked alike.

Cut for enormous images.


PS: Seeing Duran tomorrow omfg!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I shaved my legs for it, which I never do. hahaha, oh, fangirl vanity.

This was already posted to glam_lolz but I feel it is a cultural event of such magnitude and importance it should be cross-posted everywhere.

So everyone here knows Kevin Ayers, right? Some people say he deserves his place in musical history for his experimental work in Soft Machine, or for being the boyfriend patron of Mike Oldfield, or for producing pivotal music with Robet Wyatt, Brian Eno, Nico and Daevid Allen.

But I say he should go down in history for making this. It's like glam_lolz sent in a request list of MUSIC VIDEO GAY:

- sailor suit?
- ukelele?
- crappy Jamaican accent?
- cardboard set?
- male hula girls wearing only a FRUIT BELT, flowers and rouge?
- a youtube summary that uses synonyms for GAY five times?

IT'S ALL THERE, BITCHES. IN GLORIOUS TECHNICOLOUR.


I swear, if I ever see anyone go BUT GLAM ISN'T GAY YOU GUYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! again I'm sending them this.

Also, I think I blame Tiny Tim.

 

For the greater good, and also because I promised to make lulahbelle some sort of intro to Cale, here's all of his last studio album, Black Acetate. I should probably encourage you to buy it but I want him to be poor so he'll have to tour.

This because I am failing at making a comprehensive list of songs of his that will cover the range of lolz he has to offer. But then I realised this album has nearly all of them (except cows, and wanting to rape kill Ayers).

Disclaimer: Cale, you can sue me all you want for this. Bring it on, bitch, bring it good.

1. Outtathabag
I can't listen to this, because his falsetto scares the crap out of me. I'm totally serious.
2. For A Ride
SOMEONE WANTS TO TAKE YOU

FOR A RIDE
3. Brotherman
I've posted about this before, but really its glory cannot be captured in mere words. Unless those words are THIS IS JUST SOME OF THE MAGIC! He writes reams of this shit every day! Where the heat coming from, brotherman brotherman??!
4. Satisfied
He's pretending to be all romantic or some shit here, with twinkly music and what he probably thinks is a soulful falsetto, but tbh it sounds terrifying.
5. In a flood
I think he's trying to be Muddy Waters. His gravelly whisper is pretty hot, yet scary. But at least it doesn't have any falsetto.
6. Hush
Oh, Hush. How to describe you, except as a porny incestuous tribute from Cale to his daughter.
"put your lips on mine/and don't tell a soul/give it up, let it go"
I swear, if my father wrote that about me, I'd never sleep again. Then again, I wouldn't anyway if Cale was my father I guess.
7. Graveldrive
More of his blues voice, but it's actually sad and er, tasteful or something, so I have nothing interesting to say about it. The kind of stuff critics would cite as an example of why he is a ~*~great artist~*~ because they're too dumb to understand the genius of porny incest songs.
8. Perfect
IN PYJAMAS, YOU'RE PERFECT FOR ME!
Hahaha I love his midlife crisis songs, and also the video which is about corrupting things by penetrating them.
Also, clearly about gay. "It's a different kind of love" indeed.
9. SoldMotel
FUCKING FALSETTOS ARGH! The oo-ooohh SHUT UP line is lolz though.
10. Woman(studio) Woman(live)
The studio version is a bit bollocks, so I uploaded the live version off Circus too. Has some kind of hip hop rhythm that sounds like he stole it from N.E.R.D. which he probably did. Still, THAT'S NO WAY TO GET MY ATTENTION, LAUGHING AT ME is an A+ line, and it's clearly about Lou Reed. Studio version has scary puppet noises, live version monkey noises by Cale. idk, pick one.
11. Wasteland
This is actually good and therefore not worth writing about.
12. Turn the lights on
lololol this song is his idea of ~*~RAWK~*~. Yes Cale, I'll turn the lights on when I see you ~*~coming~*~.
13. Mailman (the lying song)
I can't listen to this because of the TERRIFYING CHOIR OF CRAZY GREMLIN CALES in the background.

So yes, I can't listen to about 90% of it because it's batshit and scary, but that's what's so great about Cale.

Yes, it's that time of the year when i have to add all terms related to the US elections to FoxReplace because nobody will stfu about it. Everything has just become 600% funnier!

from jezebel:

• Jimmy Carter thinks picking Bolan as a running mate would be "just about the worst mistake he's ever made." I'd say, something in the don't hold back tell us how you really feel Jimbo! vein but you know, duh. [Guardian]
• Political analysts and pundits the world over have hardons for Bowie except Israel, where Jews are nervous he will sell them out and Arabs know better. [Wash Post]
• Kinko the clown sent a letter inviting Bowie to debate him in a series of informal appearances in the lead-up to the conventions. This is the first good idea Kinko the clown has had in awhile and I think Barry should do it but I really fucking loathe the term "town hall."

 lol not ready to be an adult.

God I wish I could have firefox add-ons in RL.

I'm feeling fangirly, mainly because of stalking Peter Godwin, so here's a Bolan fan post for topsyturvytown

Here he is talking about how punk has to move on from the aggression and on to being outrageous:


I'm kind of annoyed that this isn't the interview I wanted, there was one where he said the same thing only better, but it was removed. I think he also said The Babys were gonna be the future of music in that. lol. Also, he's making half the things in that interview up but prob you didn't need to be told that.

Relatedly, Tyrannosaurus Rex playing to a bunch of disgusting Dutch hippies in Rotterdam. starts at 1.30 approx. Bolan looks beautiful though.

Some classics:
OMFG ~UNCENSORED~ Russel Harty interview. lol is on the dvd anyway. I like when he goes UNF PARKINSON AND UNF DAVIS. And confuses Russel Harty by pretending to be clever and also by being a bitch.
Also, the Peach film. Like soft porn, in a way.

Quoty tiems:
(from Strange Fascination (Bowie bio)) "Indeed, through producer Tony Visconti, Bowie and Bolan's rather uneasy friendship developed during the late 1960s into a mixture of mutual respect and bitchy rivalry."

"Visconti, however, remembers the whole tour as a rather cunning plan by Bolan to belittle the competition: "David was open to friendship with Marc but Marc was quite cruel about David's as yet unproven musical career. I think it was with great sadistic delight that Marc hired David to open for Tyrannosaurus Rex , not as a musical act, but as a mime."

lol EVERY TIME the biographer talks about Bolan and Bowie he quotes someone saying Bolan is a bitch, and then goes all OMG HE'S NO GOOD FOR YOU BOWIE, MARRY ME INSTEAD! for five sentences. I'm sorry you think he's going to leave him and make an honest woman out of you, David Buckley :(

Have some goddamn pictures of Bolan looking pretty, which he was better at than I give him credit for.

HEY EVERYONE, DID YOU KNOW DRINKING MAKES YOU LOOK LIKE A MAN??!

I hope the men are reviving themselves with smelling salts for being called ugly.

lolol, god, if alcomohol turns you into a hilarious aged tranny with no make-up skills, SIGN ME UP. Blotchy rouge? Caked-on blue eyeshadow? Wrinkles crusty with concealer? Fuck yeah.


In other news, someone has to stop me from listening to the Bay City Rollers. I've been listening to hardly anything else for the last two weeks. But their records are so cheap and you get tacky posters of their hideous mugs with them, decorated with tartan frilly crap, and  ~fold-outs~ of the entire band, and the songs are so catchy...




Oh, fuck it. Do you think someone will have written slash about them, because I really want to read it.

lol I'm so disappointed in my own taste ;_;


EDIT: lol glam_lolz is the top listed when you search for bay city rollers as an interest. hahahaha, self.