is one of the most hilarious things I've read in a long time. I mean, yes, fuck the patriarchy that makes women think they have to do things like that, but on the other hand there's something so wonderfully kitsch and campy about people looking ridiculous in real life all the time for the purpose of looking good in some photos on Instagram.
And the whole idea of wanting to paint a new face over your own face for it, so THEY WON'T EVEN LOOK LIKE PHOTOS OF YOU. So you're adjusting your life to your fantasy life and nobody will even recognise you. oh my god. I love it. I LOVE IT.
Let's get serious about contouring for a moment though because I've been asked about this irl by people because I'm the go to make-up person. I don't know why this is suddenly a thing. Contouring has been around forever, and suddenly people think it's a magical new thing. As any drag queen or New Romantic artist knows, yes, you can (and should, if you don't take it seriously like an idiot would) turn your face into someone else's face with contouring. For the best examples, watch the James St James Transformations
series:my favourite is the disturbingly convincing Cher
I don't usually contour a lot because I have very strong features anyway so if I overdo it I look like Marc Bolan on the Marc show
, but it's good for 1. achieving a look (like an 80s look) 2. looking particularly good. Generally, when I do contour, people keep coming up to me all like WOW YOU LOOK SO GREAT TONIGHT. But if you do it all the time, they'll get used to it, anyway, so what's the point of that.
I've always copied my contouring from men, because they wear so much of it (much more than women) which makes it easier to see. I recommend Adam Ant
(but don't do his nose or eyebrow ridge contouring unless you're doing male drag. Yes, he painted on an eyebrow ridge to look MANLY), Morten Harket
or Nick Rhodes
as examples. Bowie did it sometimes
, but he's a bit of a coward with it, and rightly so because his features are all tiny and his face is already so thin and bony, it disappears if he contours too much. Bolan did it a lot, but it's not always flattering; then again, sometimes it is
I also use this contouring map
from the 70s (for 70s make-up, of course) which I do with eye pencils. I know, it sounds/looks insane, but you can wear ANY amount of contour as long as you 1. blend 2. put a layer of powder over it 3. don't go into natural light.
is by far the best general tutorial on it, and this
is a general one for doing androgynous contouring.
BUT REMEMBER TO BLEND, OR YOU'LL LOOK LIKE THIS: